Stories, Poems, & Essays
Hobart Pulp: "Veselka"
Picture me, splayed on the bed on top of Liz. I'm wearing a pink thong, she's still in her jeans. She spanks me; I deserve it. She spanks me again. My breath flees my lungs, a flock of geese taking flight. Flying off, towards the moon.
Two perfect spanks. If you had any idea how often I've thought of them.
The first time I saw Liz was at a Ukrainian restaurant in the East Village called Veselka, in late August. Twinkling city lights, the feeling you could be anyone, do anything. Nights stretching on forever.
It was the summer of 2015. I'm tempted to say that I lived on the Upper East Side, but I didn't. I lived in East Harlem, a gentrifying interloper. The building's owners lured us with the washer and dryer, the dishwasher, the roof deck. Our apartment was on 100th street. Everyone knew the Upper East Side ended at 96th. But I still couldn't believe I could take the subway to the East Village. My mom had moved all my stuff from my Long Island house to Harlem over the summer while I was a counselor at Seeds of Peace camp in Maine.
The Bluebird Word: "Where to Start"
Let's play this backward, that could be the place to start.
Driving home from practice with your dad, fear sang
you're the worst one on the team, you're the worst one on the team.
Remember us at Hannukah, you're a baby with curly hair,
you're safe, you're protected, everyone here loves you and always will.
The four of us, forever, you loved your little sister,
you'll always miss her. You fell asleep with your hand on her arm
at your grandparents' while the cars rushed by below. Go to sleep now.
Carte Blanche: "Always and Always"
Hannah's family had a huge farm with something like thirteen acres. She reminded me about all the acres when she tied me to a tree so far away from her parents' stone mansion that I could no longer see it over all the rolling hills in the distance.
She had looped the rope around me quickly, while my back was turned, and had already made a tight knot by the time I realized what was happening.
"Untie me or I'll scream," I said.
"No one will hear you," she said.
"Hannah," I said, my voice catching, my heart pounding.
"Say please," Hannah said, grinning, running her fingers through my hair and then her fingertips were touching my lips.
I gasped. I took a couple of deep breaths. Something dangerous glinted in Hannah's eyes. I tried moving my arms and found I really couldn't.
Apiary Magazine: "All Stars"
"I met Mary Lambert once, on the street in summer. It was a blazing hot day, the day gay marriage had been legalized, the day love among people of the same gender was made the law of the land.
I was rushing to get Yoga to the People in the East Village when, there was Mary Lambert, walking toward me on the sidewalk.
"Are you Mary Lambert?" I said.
"Yes," she said, smiling. I think she was both happy to be recognized and bewildered, maybe annoyed to be stopped. Regardless, I quoted a poem of hers, "Body Love." I said, "I can split my wrists to reveal a battlefield too but the time has come for us to reclaim our bodies."
It was an inappropriate lyric to quote on the street. Mary's face broke into a smile."
decomP: "The Good News Is That No One Is Coming to Save You, So You Have No One To Wait For."
"Leslie Jamison says unacknowledged shame enters our brains as
anger, spinning madly around, so maybe that's why in gym class
Megan punches my face again and again, she's
dislocated my jaw, her pain ricochets
through my alleyways. " Read more here.
Pa'lante!: "Don't You Know Me?"
"A girl who is pretty in a boyish way, her name is Megan, hits me at lacrosse practice. She whacks my stick with hers, crushing my fingers. A knife-hot pain cracks me open and spills me out.
"Keep up, Julie," Megan says, trotting down the field, her green eyes flashing, her gold ponytail bouncing.
I find a circle between my legs; it's a gasping curtain near a window, open to the sea, like something I've always known, like coming home. I discover it in bed after school. I'm thirteen the first time, sweating, with my sheets soaking wet. I'm thinking of Megan.
Fuck, I think to myself, realizing what this must mean.
In the van on the way home from practice Megan reclines her seat so she's practically in my lap and kicks up her Adidas cleats onto the back of Jane's mom's seat, getting mud everywhere. She tilts her head back and looks up at me, seeing me upside down." Read more here.
Havik: "Curly Hair Pantoum"
Once you were three, with curly hair
love roared in waves as tall as homes
longing banged like lighting across the ocean.
In the photo you're wide-eyed, your parents on either side.
Love roared in waves as tall as homes
you peed your pants on the playground (you were seven)
in the photo you're wide-eyed, your parents on either side.
Can you keep this secret forever?
You peed your pants on the playground (you were seven)
She crossed your mind too much (she was a girl, you were a girl)
Can you keep this secret forever?
And then you turned 16, and then you turned 16.
Read more here.